Simply Sweet Marriage: Do you feel disconnected from your spouse?

April 30, 2009

Do you feel disconnected from your spouse?

[*Simply Sweet Marriage note: This article goes along with the Rejuvenate Date Night theme...its time to reconnect! Don't forget to poll your interest and try to do at least one of them! Simple pure romance ahead.* Go checkout the other articles over at!* On number 3 you have other ideas?]
by Geoff Steurer, MS, LMFT

In today’s fast-paced world, many couples find themselves growing more disconnected through the years. They wonder how they ended up feeling so isolated and distant from their partners. When couples are dating and heading toward marriage, it often seems as if they’re inseparable. Many couples in these early years of courtship can hardly go through the day without spending time together nurturing their relationship. Unfortunately, many couples begin to lose the closeness and connection they once experienced on a regular basis.
Bill Doherty, a prominent marriage and family therapy professor from Minnesota, noted that this drifting apart in marriage is akin to a raft drifting down the Mississippi River without any purpose or direction. Like a directionless raft, if you want your marriage to head south, you simply have to do nothing. On the other hand, if you want it to go somewhere, you’ve got to start paddling.

It’s important to understand the constantly flowing forces that cause marriages to drift apart. Work, children, community commitments, church service, extended family, hobbies, television, and computers are only a few of the forces that can create distance in an otherwise healthy marriage.

Some marriages drift south for years and grow more directionless as time moves on. If you want to stop the drift, here are some suggestions you can try.

1.Identify and write down some of the demands that constantly tug at your time with your partner.
2. Share your list with your partner and see if they agree. Ask him/her to join you in assessing whether or not your marriage is drifting.
3. Decide which of the areas can be modified so they don’t exert such a strain and pull on your time with your partner. For example, you might send your children to their bedrooms for the evening a little earlier so you can have some alone time with your spouse.

(C)Loving Marriage, LLC

Loving Marriage, LLC
437 S. Bluff St. Suite 202 St. George, UT 84770

Geoff Steurer, MS, LMFT is a marriage and family therapist in St. George, UT who specializes in turning troubled relationships around. He offers marriage, pre-marriage, and relationship counseling for couples and individuals. He also specializes in treating individuals and couples who struggle with pornography and other unwanted compulsive sexual behaviors.
For more information,visit or contact Geoff via email HERE or at 435-652-4366