Simply Sweet Marriage: Choose Exciting Over Pleasant

January 4, 2011

Choose Exciting Over Pleasant

Recently we celebrated our Wedding Anniversary.  We decided to go sledding, yes, snow sledding.  Utah boasts the greatest snow on Earth!  Although most of our pre-marriage dating was in a beach setting, sledding brought back "the sense of love and passion and excitement and connection" that Griswold preaches.  We have added back in simple yet exciting activities to our dating.  Small adjustments can create excitement like going to see live theater rather than a movie, , or making a meal that we often ate when we were first married (with greater cooking experience!) or booking a local hotel room instead of staying at home Creating new memories can flourish the old, and make marriage sweeter.  Novelty in dating seem to be the key to creating new memories and recreating that loving excitement that we crave.

For satisfying marriage go for exciting over pleasant


Aron says couples should try activities that are new and challenging for both parties.  "What maintains the sense of love and passion and excitement and connection, is that each of you is feeling that the relationship and the partner is making you grow, and giving excitement to your life, and you associate that with the relationship."

"If you go canoeing all the time, going canoeing again isn't that great a thing," says Aron. "If you go to the opera all the time, fine enjoy it, but if you've never gone to the opera and as long as neither of you hate the opera, give it a try."

Aron says beyond adding exciting activities day-to-day, you should also consider how you can help your partner grow in their long term goals.

"The things that affect you most are things that are new and challenging and exciting. In the long term though it's things that you feel you're growing from, that you have more in your life because of your partner." 

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